Later this week will mark the 10-year anniversary of my late wife Veronica’s death. I’ve done a lot of healing and learning and growing since then. And along the way I’ve written some things that still ring true. On the morning of her surgery (about a week and a half before she died) I reflected on the love and support we were receiving.
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February 25, 2010
Greetings again – I just remembered a thought I was going to include last night (but my weary, overloaded mind couldn’t remember long enough to get it included in last night’s posting) – I realized yesterday that we have Sufi folk praying for us, and Jewish folk, and Christian folk, and Buddhist folk, and Pagan folk, and Wiccan folk, and folk of no particular tradition. They are praying, and sending positive energy, and thinking about us, and sitting quietly by the fire. And it is all the same thing. We are surrounded by the Love of the Universe – manifest and channeled through each of you. Thank you!
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On the morning of March 7, 2010, in the moment when she died, it felt like my whole world came crashing down around me. The experience didn’t kill me, but I wasn’t entirely sure why not. Over time, however, I have learned that it is possible to do more than simply not die. It is possible to actually keep living and learning and loving. Over the course of the last decade I have done my best to embrace the lessons which Veronica’s death taught me and continues to teach me. And at the top of the list is that love really is the only reality, and gratitude is the only appropriate response. Every day is a gift. Every moment is a fresh opportunity to learn and grow and love. And when the storms come (because they will) we can trust that we need not face them alone. We are surrounded by Love in an expansive variety of forms. During those dark days in the hospital prior to V’s death there were times when I was so profoundly aware of the remarkable love and support surrounding us that I could almost see it, taste it, and touch it. It was palpable. Ten years later my life is rich and full. I am blessed beyond the capacity of words to express. And I am grateful – grateful for the priceless gift of having shared life and love with Veronica – grateful for the love I continue to receive from my partner Susan as she walks with me on this path of healing and growth and learning – grateful for the ongoing support I have received from so many people – grateful for congregations who have trusted me enough to allow me to be their pastor – and grateful for the ongoing presence of Spirit that has sustained and supported me all along the way. The loss of Veronica’s death is still a part of me. It has shaped and transformed my life in ways that I will continue to discover. But I have come to understand that the gift of her love is larger and more powerful than the loss, and that gift has an immense capacity to enrich my life even now. I choose to honor her life and her love by living my life as fully, richly, lovingly, and gratefully as I can. And that process will continue to unfold until the end of my days.
- Pastor Roger
(keeping my feet firmly planted in the flow)
