The Choices We Make

"My Tree" on Mount Helena

As we move through these days which seem so filled with upheaval and uncertainty, it can be tempting to see only the bad, acknowledge only the ugly, reflect on only the uncomfortable and the inconvenient. But while such things are certainly present, and frequently easy to notice, they do not represent the whole truth. Our world and our lives are also filled with opportunities to be surrounded by Sacred Presence and immersed in blessings. We see what we pay attention to, we can choose what we pay attention to, and our choices can make a powerful difference in how we experience life. 

Helena, along with lots of other cities around Montana and throughout the world, is engaging in an interesting social practice. Every night at 8pm people are stepping out onto their front porches and howling. The particular form of expression might vary from place to place, but the underlying experience is the same - it is a manifestation of community coming together in the face of adversity. We can’t be close to each other, but we can join our voices and our hearts together. The results can be heard all over town, rising up in a collective proclamation that our bond will not be denied. The only thing that can stop such connection is our choices. Last night I had the idea to walk up onto the mountain to “my tree” (where I usually go at sunrise). I thought it would be a wonderful spot to experience the howling. But when I got about a block away from my intended destination I looked up and saw that there were already people at “my tree.” And instantly my sense of connection and community was shattered. The magic drained out of me. “How dare they choose that spot! Who do they think they are anyway? Don’t they know that is my tree?” Yes, every one of those thoughts ran through my head. I’m not particularly proud of it, but it is what happened. No one forced me to react that way. I chose to react that way. It didn’t seem so at the time. In that moment I was only aware of my outrage. But the truth is that I could have chosen otherwise. I could have chosen to acknowledge my disappointment and then celebrate the fact that someone new would be able to experience the magic of “my tree.” Instead my choice prevented me from experiencing the magic of that moment. And I am sad about that. But now I get to make another choice. I can learn from the experience and endeavor to make more life-serving choices next time, or I can ignore the lesson and doom myself to repeat it. My intention is to strive to learn from the experience. There is much that is good and true and beautiful in the world. I invite you to join me in paying attention so that we will notice, and in noticing experience the blessings which are always present, just waiting to be received.

Here is a poem I wrote yesterday morning, while standing at “my tree.” Apparantly it is a practice I need to repeat on a regular basis.

Standing in THIS place

Greeting THIS new day

Opening myself to THIS present moment

I bring ALL the parts of me:

my HOPES and my FEARS

my GIFTS and my CHALLENGES

my FAITH and my UNCERTAINTY

my LOVE and my HATE

my JOY and my GRIEF

I EMBRACE them all

And then I RELEASE them

As I step into THIS new day

To which THEY brought me

Now FREE and UNENCUMBERED

And ready to BECOME more fully myself

- Pastor Roger

(keeping my feet firmly planted in the flow)